Is Being “Nice” Always the Christian Thing to Do?

Christianity Today contributor Thomas Anderson examines what the Bible teaches about Christian speech, truth and kindness, arguing that being “nice” is not itself a biblical command. The article begins with Jesus’ confrontation with the Pharisees in Matthew 12. Although Jesus used strong language, calling them a “brood of vipers,” he also warned that people would give an account for their words. Anderson uses this passage to explore the difference between speaking firmly and speaking from a hardened or contemptuous heart. The article argues that Christians are not required to soften every difficult truth simply to maintain peace. Scripture contains examples of strong and direct language when confronting wrongdoing, corruption and injustice. However, Anderson emphasizes that harshness by itself does not make speech faithful. According to the article, the important question is what motivates a person's words and what they hope those words will accomplish. A statement may be factually accurate and even justified, yet still become spiritually harmful if it is motivated by contempt. Anderson connects this issue to public and political conversations, where people can easily become surrounded by others who reinforce their opinions. He suggests that the way Christians speak about opponents can reveal what they fear, love or have learned to despise. The article also points to Titus 3, where Paul instructs Christians to avoid speaking evil of others, quarrelling and hostility while showing gentleness and courtesy. Paul connects this instruction with the gospel, reminding believers that they themselves were once lost and were saved through God's mercy. Anderson argues that Christians therefore do not need contempt as a way of dealing with people who are wrong or difficult. Christians can acknowledge sin and speak truth while remembering the mercy they themselves have received. The article further refers to Proverbs 24, which warns against rejoicing when an enemy falls. This illustrates the difference between confronting wrongdoing and taking pleasure in another person's suffering. The central message is that Christian communication requires both truth and love. Christians may sometimes need to say difficult things, but they should not take satisfaction in causing pain or humiliating others. Anderson concludes by challenging readers to examine not only whether their words are true or justified, but also what those words reveal about their hearts and what effect they have on people who may already be hurting. The article ultimately presents Christian speech as a matter of character and motive: truth should not be abandoned for politeness, but neither should truth become an excuse for cruelty or contempt.